1 Tim. 3:1-7
“An Overseer Must Be…--3”
Again, I want to start this message that these qualities that we are looking at should be something that we all should cultivate. If they are qualifications for elders, it is because they are different aspects of the image of God. With that in mind, let us look at the next two qualities: respectable and hospitable. These are concerned with an elder’s relationship with others.
The first quality we are dealing with today is being
respectable. The word translated as “respectable” (ko,smioj)
“is used in classical Greek (LSJM) and in the inscriptions (MM) to describe a
person as ‘orderly’…, ‘well-behaved,’ or ‘virtuous,’ which is the sense that it
bears here: that which causes a person to be regarded as ‘respectable’ by
others…” (Knight, p. 159). This quality is obviously
closely related to an elder being above reproach (v. 2) and being well thought of by outsiders (v. 7).
What is noteworthy is that Paul’s list in our passage begins and ends with how
an elder is thought of by others.
Here we are reminded again that Christianity is not just
about “God and me”. God is the Lord of all: He is not just my God but also your God; He is not just the God of Christians but also the
God of non-Christians, from whom they receive their being and all that they
have, to whom they are accountable. Therefore, having right relationship with
God cannot be separated from having right relationship with our fellow human
beings. So, the Lord, who commands, “Thou shalt have
no other gods before Me”, also commands, “Love your
neighbor as yourself.” Christianity does not belong in the monastery; it
belongs in our homes, in the marketplace, in the world, though it is not of the
world.
It is also
to be noted that an elder’s reputation is important not just among Christians
and his fellow members; it is important also among outsiders. This shatters any
simple-minded perception of the Christian’s relationship with the world, with
“outsiders”. How are we to think of the “outsiders”? Are we to view them as
friends or foes?
It will help us to answer that difficult question when we
see this quality as a reflection of God’s respectability. The term, “God’s
respectability” is not something we are used to. But it is just another way of
saying “God’s glory”, “God’s honor”, etc. God is of course worthy of our
praise, honor, reverence, and, yes, respect. And there will come a day when “at the name of Jesus every knee
[will] bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue
confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Phil.
When God calls elders to be respectable, it is clear that God desires us to reflect His respectability. What a wonderful blessing and high privilege this is for us, that God desires us to be respectable and honorable in His likeness! But our brief consideration of God’s honor and respectability shows that, especially for now, respectability does not always go hand in hand with likeability. To be respected is not necessarily to be liked. That is not to say that one cannot be respected and liked as well. But the two are different. And I believe that our goal in interacting with “outsiders” should be respect, not necessarily being liked. What is the difference? A good way to illustrate this point is parenting. I think many of you have heard this before: parents need to be parents, not friends to their children. That is, parents in parenting should not be motivated by their desire to be liked by their children; rather, they should expect loving respect and obedience. You can imagine what disastrous things will happen if a parent does everything to be liked by the children. He will try to ingratiate his children by complying with every whimsical demand of his children--cookies for breakfast, candies for lunch and chocolates for dinner; toys of every kind and video games for every game console; no school and no homework; no brushing teeth and washing up for days; no cleaning up of their rooms, etc.! His life would be dictated by the children’s ignorant, foolish and even sinful wishes and requests! But everything will change if respect is what he works for and demands of the children. They may often not like him, especially when they are told to do what they don’t want to do and when they are disciplined for being unruly and rebellious. But, if it is done right, he will be respected and loved!
It is obvious, then, that such is what we should keep in mind when we develop relationships with “outsiders”. Our goal should be respect, not being liked. We should love them and care for them. We should be as winsome as possible for the sake of the Gospel. We must try to be all things to all people, that by all means we might save some (1 Cor. 9:22). However, that does not mean that we compromise the gospel. We cannot do drugs together with drug addicts to win them over to Christ. We cannot get drunk together, we cannot have extramarital affairs with them, we cannot steal and embezzle together, we cannot lie together with them, we cannot gossip with them and laugh at crude and dirty jokes together with them, etc., to win them over to Christ. We should not treat others merely as objects of our evangelism, of course. We have to treat them as individuals made in the image of God and we must treat them as worthy of our time and relationship, etc. But we must always be ready to given an account of the hope we have in Jesus Christ. We must be a faithful, though not perfect, representative of what we believe so that, should they be interested, we would have something, to which we can win them over. If we are no different from them, what do we have to win them over to?
Is it possible to be respected even
though they do not like us? I am sure there are some people in your life that
you don’t necessarily like but still respect. What are some universal
qualities that command respect from others? There are many. Some are respected
for their great skills and natural talents, such as athletes. Others are
respected for their great knowledge, such as professors and experts. Still
others are respected for their charismatic personality and leadership. When we
look at those, who are the best in their fields, we can readily see the
limitations of nurture not aided by nature. Not anybody can be a professional
athlete, a professor or a general or President. Is there, then, any quality of
respectability, which is universal for everyone, which can make the least
gifted, most ordinary man respectable and without which even the most gifted,
extraordinary man becomes contemptible? In this regard, one quality stands towering over others: integrity. What is integrity? “The quality or condition of being whole or undivided;
completeness.” Someone defined integrity this way: “Integrity is about what we will not do, about what we will not give up,
about what we stand for at all costs” (Lawrence M. Hinman,
“Integrity”, http://ethics.sandiego.edu/presentations/Integrity/WIC_SanDiego/index.html).
I think that is a pretty good description of integrity. But true integrity is
not ultimately about me; it is about what is truly good and noble. So,
integrity does not mean that I will never change my views on anything. That is
stubbornness. True integrity is able to admit one’s mistakes and change, if
necessary, because my commitment is not to my opinions but to what is truly
good and noble.
The great
thing about integrity is that it does not require special gifts or natural
abilities or privileged backgrounds. It is something that anyone can cultivate.
The key is to cultivate. It is not a natural gift that people are born with. It
needs to be cultivated. Hinman goes on to say about
integrity, “It, too, is
a habit of character, something that exists over a long period of time. People
don’t have integrity sporadically, showing lots of integrity on Thursdays.
Indeed, the whole idea of integrity is that it lasts.” We all know that
something that lasts is not built in one day. It needs a deep, solid
foundation, which takes a long time to be laid.
I hope
this brief look at integrity will help us how we need to be and act to be
respectable, especially as Christians: we must show integrity in our faith. We
have to show others, with all humility and gentleness, that there are things
that we will not do, things that we will not give up, things that we will stand
for at all costs. Someone said that the shadow is there only when the sun is
out. We cannot be fair weather friends to Christ. For He is a
Friend of true integrity to us. He does not abandon us in bad times. Why
would He? He died for us while we were yet sinners! He not only rejoices
with us in our happiness and joy; He also grieves with us in our moments of
sorrow with groanings deeper than ours that are too
deep for words! We cannot be fair weather friends to such a Friend! We should
love Him when we graze on the green pastures and drink from the quiet waters of
His grace. We should love Him even when we are surrounded by our enemies, who
taunt us and jeer at us, because He prepares a table before us even in the midst
of our enemies. Yes, we should love Him even when we go through the valley of
the shadow of death because even there He is with us, protecting us and leading
us and guiding us to our heavenly home! When Polycarp,
a disciple of Apostle John, was urged to recant his faith or be thrown to wild
beasts, he said, “Eighty and six years have I served Him, and He never
did me any injury: how then can I blaspheme my King and my Saviour?”
It
should not be for our health and wealth, for which the outsiders should be
attracted to Christianity; it should be on account of our integrity in our
faith, which shines more brightly in the darkness of trying times, because it
shows the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus.
An elder should be “hospitable” as well. The Greek word, filo,xenoj, is a compound word made up of two words: love (philos, as in philosophy, love of wisdom) and stranger/alien (xenos as in xenophobia, a fear of foreigners or strangers and people). Literally, it can mean “love of strangers” or “extending love to strangers”.
Whenever the biblical principle of hospitality is discussed, Abraham
figures very prominently. Heb. 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby
some have entertained angels unawares.” These words refer obviously to Abraham,
who unknowingly entertained angels (Gen. 18, 19). So did
We can go
back all the way to the creation to see God’s radical hospitality. What do we
see in Gen. 1? We see there God extending His hospitality to man bringing him
into His world, which He created out of nothing. See how radical this
hospitality is! He creates the heavens and the earth and fills them with all
that man would need (and so much more!). Then God creates man in His image,
male and female, bringing them into existence out of nothing. Then He puts them
up in the best place in the whole world, a paradise in
Those of
you, who are a bit cynical, may be thinking: “Yes, it is true that God created
the heavens and the earth and therefore it is His world. But the Garden of Eden
was hardly the best place, was it? This world, as good as it is, is but a
shadow land to heaven, where God dwells in incomparable glory. The Garden of
Eden might have been the best place in the world but it was only the best in
the shadow land. I will see radical hospitality if God invites man to heaven
itself!” And you are so right! When God loves, God loves perfectly because He
is perfect. This does not mean that we are able to see the perfection of His at
every moment. To use a philosopher’s expression, the perfect love of God is
like “pictures in rough mosaic, which have no effect at close quarters,
but must be looked at from a distance in order to discern their beauty”
(Schopenhauer, “Emptiness of Existence”). This mosaic is designed by God’s
infinite wisdom. With our myopic vision, we cannot see how all the pieces work
together to show forth the perfect love of God. But when we shall stand in
glory, high above in heaven, and look back with the glorified bird’s-eye-view and
with 20-20 hindsight, then we will see how all things happened to produce the
perfect mosaic of God’s perfect love.
God’s
intention all along was not to keep man in the Garden of Eden, as wonderful as
it was. God’s intention was to bring man to heaven, where He dwells in eternal
glory. Why? Because heaven is the best possible abode for man! (If it is the
very eternal abode of God, it cannot be outdone, can it?) That is why the Bible
ends with the beatific vision of man dwelling with God in heaven! That had to
be God’s ultimate goal from the beginning because God is the One, who decrees
the end from the beginning (Isa. 46:10). As the
omniscient God, He cannot be ignorant of the future. As the all-sovereign God,
He just cannot start something without ordaining the end! Before He spoke the
very first word of creation, “Let there be light!” God had in mind His gift of
heaven to His chosen people!
And it was
not just heaven that God had in store for man! As God’s perfect love cannot
withhold from us what is truly best, He could not withhold from us the greatest
gift of all--He Himself! What is heaven, after all? Why do we long for it? Is
it because there is no sadness or suffering or death in heaven? Are we no more
than animals that cannot imagine anything better than having enough to eat and being
protected from danger? Is heaven no more than a longer and better version of an
expensive vacation on the
Heaven
would indeed be a cosmic mistake without God! If the satisfaction of our needs
is met only to lead us into boredom, it is only because we are made in the
image of God and our deepest need is not met--our need for God! We have a small
heart but it was made with an infinite appetite, which can be satisfied only
with the infinite God, who made us! If heaven is wonderful, it is not just
because there won’t be any tears, mourning, sorrow and death. Heaven is
wonderful only because God is there in the fullness of His glory, making us
love and worship and adore Him in never-ceasing, ever-renewing wonder and
amazement at His infinite shades of glory, never failing to amaze us, never
failing to satisfy us in a new way, all the while giving His same Self to us!
But what
did God have to do because man fell in sin and became utterly unworthy of
heaven and fully deserving of hell? God’s radical hospitality compelled the Son
of God to leave His heavenly abode and come all the way to this world and
suffer the miserable consequence of our sins. Not only that, Jesus went down
all the way to hell itself to rescue us from the clutches of hell and bring us into
heaven! Even while He was on this earth, He exercised radical hospitality. He
had no home to call His own; He, who dwelt in the glory and comfort of heaven,
had no place to lay His head in this world. How did He exercise hospitality? Let
us be reminded that inviting someone to our home is but a means of true
hospitality, just one, though important, way of offering our love and
friendship to someone else (even to a stranger). Jesus had no home to entertain
His guests. But He offered Himself. He said, “All that the Father gives me will
come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out” (John
Let us then
open our hearts to one another, in love and self-giving generosity. As we do
so, let us open our homes to one another and to those who visit our church. And
let us not forget that true hospitality is a love extended to strangers and God
calls us to extend our hospitality even to strangers. Ladies, this is where you
can really help. Listen to what Karen Burton Mains says on this subject:
“Important lessons have been learned through these years of
continual open house. The first began in our honeymoon apartment when two
friends stopped by, unannounced.
“‘You mean you spent the evening on the front porch and didn’t
invite them inside!’ my mother exclaimed in dismay. ‘Karen! Haven’t you heard
your father insist I must never put my pride [as an impeccable homemaker with a
tidy house all the time] before my hospitality?’”
In the same
vein, when I went to a small seminar during the General Assembly on reaching
out to international scholars, the pastor (from the South) pointed out the
Greek word for hospitality and pointed out that true biblical hospitality--love
extended to strangers--is different from southern hospitality, which often
turns out to be an opportunity to show off one’s homemaking skills. What is
important in exercising hospitality is not the quality of food, the spotless,
tidy appearance of the home, but a sincere, ready offering of ourselves and our home and whatever we have for lunch or
dinner or breakfast! I realize that this is very difficult for the ladies but
we have to wean ourselves off worldly hospitality and grow in biblical hospitality.
If we have the worldly mindset about hospitality, we will open our home only
three or four times a year! But we if are committed to biblical hospitality,
how quickly our relationships will grow and deepen as we spend our time
together more often!
Some of us
are obviously gifted in this area. I want to encourage you to continue to
nurture the gift and exercise it to the building up of our body. Many of us need
to cultivate and grow in this area. I hope we don’t see hospitality as
something only “gifted” people do. I hope we don’t just accept and benefit from
the hospitality of others but see their hospitality as an example to follow. Start
small. Invite a few members and share a simple meal together. Let us have a
mutual understanding, once for all, that getting together is more important
than impressing our guests (who should be friends) with great food and tidy and
well-decorated house! This means that single people are not exempt! And let us
do it more often. And venture out to serve lunch on Sundays. It may be daunting
to feed 30-40 people. But may the love of Christ motivate you. And men, we must
not forget to show our genuine appreciation for their faithfulness and
sacrifice.
As we do
so, let us be vigilant against the Martha-trap, being busy in service and
bitter. Let us make it our priority to sit at the feet of Jesus Christ,
listening to Him and soaking in His love for us. For the only way to avoid
self-righteousness in serving is to be reminded and refreshed again and again
by Christ and His amazing love for us, once strangers and aliens, once enemies
of His. Someone said that we become more like what we worship. That is the key
to our Christian life. As we worship Christ, we will be more and more like
Christ, respectable and hospitable and so much more, being transformed from a unworthy guest to God’s beloved children!
© Copyright
2008 by Jeong Woo "James" Lee
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Reserved.